Best places to Slav squat in Oulu

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and worries. We are fine!  The reason for our absence is a trip to the ISS, the International Space Station itself! Our goal was of course simple..... Squat the living space out of it! The Zero-Gravity environment opens up a whole new level of possibilites in terms of slavsquatting.  No longer are you being restricted by the petty gravity... Unleash your wildest squats!

We can't thank the people who attended the Squat-a-thon 2017.  We witnessed some mind-bending squats ! And we specially loved how well our fans took the whole "broken yogurt machine" incident. It was out of our control, nothing we could do. Thank you for taking it so lightly !! If you have any pictures from the event,  please share them here ! We would love to see more ! Also congrats once more to the SLAVSQUATTER OF THE YEAR ! You taught us a lot, and the least we could do was to give you the honor of SQOTY title ! Thank you all once more ! See you next year !!!

One of the most heated debates of the past hundred years has been : "Was the moonlanding faked??". We got really tired about this discussion once and for all, so we decided to release this NEVER SEEN BEFORE IMAGE of our grandfather Vlad "don't touch my yougurt" Vladistorm. And he was indeed accompanied to the first moonlanding with the more famous peole you have heard of. We didn't want this picture go public cause it would draw attention from the gospel of squatting. But yesterday we were browsing Adidas forums and stumbled upon a heated moonlanding discussion and we just couldn't take it anymore. So here we go, moonlanding proved not fake. Rip in peace Vlad "don't touch my yougurt" Vladistorm, you will be missed.  May your squats echo on the halls of valor where you are feasting with the gods.

So, you're still wishing to become like us?

Winds blowing through your skin, birds squatting in their nests... A watchful squardian is on place. Daylight or not, watching over your city is a civic Slav-duty. Hearing screams or sirens, you must answer. Answer the calling. A stolen purse, mugging in the gutter... All the same. A powerful squardian will take care of it, one way or the another.  For example, we dealt with thieves by hosting a small-scale squatparty. The main thing is to make them forget that hate, that need for stealing. So we provided free vodka and sausages, and laughed at the whole thing. The squatting was the main thing for this to work; it releases tension, instantly makes everything funnier and better.  The fruits of our work will be fully revealed on 15.11.2017. Stay tuned!

To truly continue with your ninja-training, you must take your environment-blending-skills to the next level. Converting your skin using poultices or herbs is one thing; to actually USE the face of a another thing.... is a different thing on a whole next level.  As our mentor, Jaqen H'ghar, once said,  " If the day comes when you must find me again, just pose that squat to any man from Braavos and say these words to him: "Valar slavghulis." Or, for short, "to become no-one you shall squat". All will be revealed.

Like the always watchful Batman, sometimes squatting in a powerful position can be life-changing. Like Batman, a quick mind coupled with dexterity is all you need -- not all that expensive gadgets Batman uses.  Overwatching your city by squatting in cool places is also a way of life. Merge your ninja-abilities into this, and thou shall be invincible. Is it clinically proven, that your city's crime rate will go down, when there is a watchful squardian! Remember, you are not the squatter the city deserves, but always the one it needs!

Can you spot me? Sometimes it is not about the visibility, but the thrill of making the squat. Despite our fear of heights, we climbed this lightpole, rather rebelliously I might add, and squatted there. The weather was cold, but the sights were amazing. This squat had to be cut short though, as we head Police sirens approaching. Always consider your safety first. Always mind the Police. Always be aware of your surroundings. 

As always, nature is in a huge role in our way of life. Squatting in nature's graces is a privilege; a peaceful yet amazing experience. This time we found a nice river, with rocks in the middle. Putting the danger aside, we made a jump for the rock, and began the squat. The ice-cold water was splashing at our feet, but it only made our resolve greater.  Some salmons were swimming underneath, and they jumped next to us, as if they knew the greatness of our squat. In this moment we became one with the nature, one with the water.

Once you've been squatting enough, regular and innovative places might get too normal for you. The thrill of finding a new, adrenaline-rushing place is hard, and looking for it even harder. This time, we wanted to actually, actually cross the line. How though? The idea for this was the new Spiderman movie. We had just watched it, -- squatting the whole movie -- and as it turns out, Spiderman's poses are Slavic squats. And thus the it came to us; we had to become Spiderman.  Squaderman to be exact, and the geometry was in our favor. Putting the squat-muscles to use, we quickly climbed the buildings and prepared for the squat. The webbing was a problem, but we quickly overcame it with a piece of gum. Testing our strength, we walked across the thin line, and stroke our best pose. The spidersquat. The gum did not last long, but enough for us to get the pictures. Afterwards, we received a standing ovation from the bystanders. Job well done. 

Tossing the regular squats aside for a moment, another way to spice up your life is to do a rebel squat. The secret is: 1. Find a place that is (semi)forbidden 2. Get ready to squat 3. Do the squat (4. OPTIONAL. Make sure people see you do it!) 5. Profit This location for example, was a military base. The place behind the squatter, was apparently a missile-storage of sorts. To reach this, we had to climb through electrified fences, mines and cameras. The danger was real, but the payoff was even better.  Note that, once again, we do not encourage bad behavior. 

Continuing regular squatting, here is another way to squat through regular day. Going to a playfield? Squat it. Find new innovative ways to spice up your life. Re-innovate, revolutionate!

With all these awesome squats, sometimes it is necessary to just do the old "boring" squat. This picture shows that squatting doesn't need to be always super cool; instead, squatting in the most regular of places is a way of life.  Waiting for a bus? Squat the waiting. Sitting is overrated and proven to be unhealthy for you in the long run. Squatting activates your muscles and is healthier. Do the squad, re-innovate your lifestyle.

Squatting doesn't need to be selfish. Sometimes true zen-mode can be achieved by squatting with other living things. As studies have proven, spending time with animals is relaxing not only for your mind, but for your soul.  This squat embodies empathy and passion. Forming a squat-bond with your new found friend? Awesome. He might even let you ride you into squat-battle!

Yes we know, squatters are outgoing party animals, it's in our nature. But sometimes a squatter might overwhelmed by the fans.. or even the world. This location is perfect for those days when you feel like this.. Shy.. fragile.. We spent a couple of hours here yesterday and i gotta say it was a calming experience. I feel like the weight of the world has flown off from my shoulders and i can breathe again. World is a big place for a lonely squatter like you, don't hide it. There is nothing to be afraid. Take an hour or two for yourself, you'll see an instant improvement on your life. I promise you this.

We stopped for a quick snack during our morning squat routine under this palm tree. Something didn't felt quite right. Like we weren't allowed there. So we decided bless the dining table with a graceful squat. After that the evil spirits withered from the location and we could dine well. If you ever visit this location and feel like you aren't alone, squat on the spirits to show dominance.

Squat over the haters. Sometimes people don't appreciate the art of squatting.  They might   use rude  words and try to play down your magnificent posture. The key is to ignore the haters. They are either CLOSET SQUATTERS or just IGNORANT haters. When you have once embraced the squat, you know you are in the right. You aren't the one who needs to tell others how to live their lives. You are beautiful, even more beautiful during a squat. You do you, you amazing squatting you.

Squatting is a way of life. We have squats for every situation, every purpose. This one is called the observer. Squatting in darkness, waiting.. The ancient ninjas once did this, and they were masters of it. Blending environment into their skin, making the very best cover of nature. It's an art-form, one in which we are highly trained in.  How to truly blend in your environment, is a trade-secret. One can only learn it from proper sources. It requires patience, herbs, poultices, and a little bit of money. A keen eye and a masterful mind is a must, for one must always be aware of his surroundings. Cloaking spells do not work in terms of mastering the skill, because they are long forgotten.  So what is the secret? It's all about place, timing and surroundings. The rest you will have to figure out yourself.

Overcoming obstacles and challenges is always a practice even we partake in. We see this beautiful sight, but it's located next to a dam. So how do we take a cool picture? We loaned a boat, and we rowed there! "No pain, no gain." Always remember to test yourself -- even the greatest obstacle can be crossed. Posing extreme squats is one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, that everyone should try. Getting that adrenaline pumping, hands trembling.. It's like your first kiss. Please note that we do not encourage anyone to endanger their lives. As stated in "About us", we are professionals and do not recommend all of these squats to be tried on home.

Finland is a cold and harsh country. While that harshness might put some people off, true squatters find inspiration and will, even in the darkest of times.  While the autumn is cold and unforgiving, can we also find beauty in it. This squat shows the colorful nature of autumn winds, leaves falling with the brightest of colors. It was in this moment when we got that urge. The feeling in your heart that this, this is where we squat. The relaxing nature, the sights, the colors...  Let us enjoy this, while we still can.

Relaxing squat is a main theme with us. Besides relaxing, we also search for -- not too -- dangerous, wild and cool places in general where you can pose your best slavsquat! This picture embodies that promise; the nature is beautiful and relaxing, why not use that? We have been called treehuggers and such, but that is not truly our purpose. While we honor the nature, we honor it in terms of squatting. And you can definitely see this in our squats. The secret is finding a place that eases your mind. Something to get the edge off; just squat down and take deep breaths. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. I am one with the nature, the nature is with me. 

So far we have visited many exotic locations here in Oulu. This one has got to be our favourite though. On our squatting trip, we saw open doors in this church. We rushed in, found some nice squat places, and took pictures of them. The church was mesmerizing, as was our squats. It was as, if the God himself called us there. Squatting on a sacred ground? Awesome!

It cannot be overstated how important it is to show the world your squat. The more we spread the joy of squatting the more people will start to enjoy the most comfortable position. It should be a human right to squat where ever you please. During a squat you can reflect your choices that led to this very moment.. All the places you have been.. the people you have met.. everything has led to this exact moment.. this exact squat.. Sure you can sit down like a pansy, but it isn't just the same. So this squat is more of a political stance. We went in front of the Oulu city hall and squatted the whole day on these pilars. Many people asked us what we are doing and we explained the situation. Many people expressed pure gratitude towards our cause. It's really saddening to see people afraid to squat whenever they please. It's the true tragedy of our age. Hopefully someday i can wake up to a brand new day where one can squat as they please. YOU AR

Being a true Slav squatter isn't just about throwing down serious squats when you feel like it. It's a way of living.. a way to express yourself and your beliefs. We often get in trouble with the authorities, why ? Because we don't follow the rules. Rules are made to be broken. Here is an excellent example how we just don't give a hoot. First we threw some tight squats in front of the "authorized personnel only" sign on the door. Then we entered the door and threw down some seriously amazing squats.  (NOTICE ! WE DIDN'T HAVE THE PERMISSION TO BE THERE). This perfectly encapsulates the spirit of squatting. Nobody can tell you WHERE and WHEN to squat. You are the only person you should listen to when it comes to squatting. Follow your heart, it knows what is right and wrong. ps. Always appreciate the people around you. Don't be a doofus. Being a doofus isn't cool , respecting people IS cool. Location : Dan

Disclaimer: We have gotten hundreds of contacts from people complaining that some of our squats aren't actual slav squats. We are aware of this problem, Western spy squat is an epidemic that can affect anyone.. your loved ones.. even you. We are looking for a cure for it.. we will let you know if we find anything.

When you start being serious about your squatting you begin to get these.. urges.. It's like a calling..  you just know that your squat is needed somewhere.. Here we knew instantly that we had to squat next to these natural geysirs. Sure these geysirs are really common in Finland, but it doesn't matter when you get the calling.. We quickly built a raft, it was rather easy because there are a lot of trees on this location. After we came in to the conclusion that the raft will float, we paddled our way next to these beautiful geysirs and unleashed the most powerful squats Oulu has ever witnessed.  The moment was magical.. Location: A little wet, but it doesn't take anything away from the experience. Ease of squat: If you know how to build a raft there shouldn't be anything stopping you. Verdict: A POWERFUL squat. Only goes to show that following your urges really can pay off. 9½/10

Ah yes. The Summer has passed, but no need be sad about it ! Autumn is here, now you can unleash the true potential of a "Natural squat". The trick is to find a place in nature that speaks to you.. be one with the nature.. embrace the nature.. Once you feel the cold autumn breeze on your inner thigh during a squat.. you know... you know that everything will be alright. This sensation cannot be described, you just have to experience it. Location: Close to water, you can feel the water appreciating your squat.. You can see people appreciate your squat.. It's marvelous. Ease of squat: Lot of room to squat, but if you aren't careful with the squat you might fall in to the water and make a fool out of yourself. Be careful. Squatting is an form of art, don't treat it lightly. Verdict: When done right.. life changing.. hard to describe.. i'm speechless . 99/100 (Not perfect score because it's slightly dangerous!!)

Sometimes you feel the need to show the whole city what you are about. You aren't a pansyboy who hides the squat, you are a true national treasure who owns the squat. Sure your squat might be a pathetic " Western spy squat " but goddamn you are trying. Location: One of the best places to show the world your squat. Ease of squat: Excellent , lot of room to spread those legs. Verdict: If you aren't a shy squatter then you must absolutely try this. Throw down the squat and show people that you aren't afraid. Rating: 9/10

Our Slav squat journey starts from this extremely spooky setting. We couldn't stay around and enjoy the squat.. The place felt haunted. Location: Nice, but spoopy. Ease of squat: If you are any bigger than we are, then you might not fit. Verdict: Worth the squat if you aren't a pansy.