Best places to Slav squat in Oulu

One of the most heated debates of the past hundred years has been : "Was the moonlanding faked??". We got really tired about this discussion once and for all, so we decided to release this NEVER SEEN BEFORE IMAGE of our grandfather Vlad "don't touch my yougurt" Vladistorm. And he was indeed accompanied to the first moonlanding with the more famous peole you have heard of. We didn't want this picture go public cause it would draw attention from the gospel of squatting. But yesterday we were browsing Adidas forums and stumbled upon a heated moonlanding discussion and we just couldn't take it anymore. So here we go, moonlanding proved not fake. Rip in peace Vlad "don't touch my yougurt" Vladistorm, you will be missed.  May your squats echo on the halls of valor where you are feasting with the gods.

So, you're still wishing to become like us?

Winds blowing through your skin, birds squatting in their nests... A watchful squardian is on place. Daylight or not, watching over your city is a civic Slav-duty. Hearing screams or sirens, you must answer. Answer the calling. A stolen purse, mugging in the gutter... All the same. A powerful squardian will take care of it, one way or the another.  For example, we dealt with thieves by hosting a small-scale squatparty. The main thing is to make them forget that hate, that need for stealing. So we provided free vodka and sausages, and laughed at the whole thing. The squatting was the main thing for this to work; it releases tension, instantly makes everything funnier and better.  The fruits of our work will be fully revealed on 15.11.2017. Stay tuned!

To truly continue with your ninja-training, you must take your environment-blending-skills to the next level. Converting your skin using poultices or herbs is one thing; to actually USE the face of a another thing.... is a different thing on a whole next level.  As our mentor, Jaqen H'ghar, once said,  " If the day comes when you must find me again, just pose that squat to any man from Braavos and say these words to him: "Valar slavghulis." Or, for short, "to become no-one you shall squat". All will be revealed.

Like the always watchful Batman, sometimes squatting in a powerful position can be life-changing. Like Batman, a quick mind coupled with dexterity is all you need -- not all that expensive gadgets Batman uses.  Overwatching your city by squatting in cool places is also a way of life. Merge your ninja-abilities into this, and thou shall be invincible. Is it clinically proven, that your city's crime rate will go down, when there is a watchful squardian! Remember, you are not the squatter the city deserves, but always the one it needs!

Can you spot me? Sometimes it is not about the visibility, but the thrill of making the squat. Despite our fear of heights, we climbed this lightpole, rather rebelliously I might add, and squatted there. The weather was cold, but the sights were amazing. This squat had to be cut short though, as we head Police sirens approaching. Always consider your safety first. Always mind the Police. Always be aware of your surroundings. 

As always, nature is in a huge role in our way of life. Squatting in nature's graces is a privilege; a peaceful yet amazing experience. This time we found a nice river, with rocks in the middle. Putting the danger aside, we made a jump for the rock, and began the squat. The ice-cold water was splashing at our feet, but it only made our resolve greater.  Some salmons were swimming underneath, and they jumped next to us, as if they knew the greatness of our squat. In this moment we became one with the nature, one with the water.

Once you've been squatting enough, regular and innovative places might get too normal for you. The thrill of finding a new, adrenaline-rushing place is hard, and looking for it even harder. This time, we wanted to actually, actually cross the line. How though? The idea for this was the new Spiderman movie. We had just watched it, -- squatting the whole movie -- and as it turns out, Spiderman's poses are Slavic squats. And thus the it came to us; we had to become Spiderman.  Squaderman to be exact, and the geometry was in our favor. Putting the squat-muscles to use, we quickly climbed the buildings and prepared for the squat. The webbing was a problem, but we quickly overcame it with a piece of gum. Testing our strength, we walked across the thin line, and stroke our best pose. The spidersquat. The gum did not last long, but enough for us to get the pictures. Afterwards, we received a standing ovation from the bystanders. Job well done. 

Tossing the regular squats aside for a moment, another way to spice up your life is to do a rebel squat. The secret is: 1. Find a place that is (semi)forbidden 2. Get ready to squat 3. Do the squat (4. OPTIONAL. Make sure people see you do it!) 5. Profit This location for example, was a military base. The place behind the squatter, was apparently a missile-storage of sorts. To reach this, we had to climb through electrified fences, mines and cameras. The danger was real, but the payoff was even better.  Note that, once again, we do not encourage bad behavior. 

Continuing regular squatting, here is another way to squat through regular day. Going to a playfield? Squat it. Find new innovative ways to spice up your life. Re-innovate, revolutionate!

With all these awesome squats, sometimes it is necessary to just do the old "boring" squat. This picture shows that squatting doesn't need to be always super cool; instead, squatting in the most regular of places is a way of life.  Waiting for a bus? Squat the waiting. Sitting is overrated and proven to be unhealthy for you in the long run. Squatting activates your muscles and is healthier. Do the squad, re-innovate your lifestyle.

Squatting doesn't need to be selfish. Sometimes true zen-mode can be achieved by squatting with other living things. As studies have proven, spending time with animals is relaxing not only for your mind, but for your soul.  This squat embodies empathy and passion. Forming a squat-bond with your new found friend? Awesome. He might even let you ride you into squat-battle!